Death March of the Penguins

I host pub quizzes, better known as bar trivia by you plebeians out there. Anyway, last week I showed up to my venue-- a big, handsome indie theater that used to be some religious mission and now hosts all sorts of random events-- and noticed a podium on stage next to my usual table and audio set-up. When I inquired, the bartender let me know that they had some scientific symposium earlier (like I said, all sorts of random events), at which a biologist gave some pretty bleak predictions about a specific Antarctic breed of penguin. After doing a bit of research, it sounds like he might have been talking about the Adélie penguin, whose population has been in a tailspin since the seventies. Since climate change is...well, changing the climate of their homes, a ton of their former breeding ground is no longer suitable to nourish little baby Adélies, and their numbers are suffering because of it.

Not only that, but other breeds of penguins really dig the changes (looking at you guys, Headstrap and Gentoo), so they're straight up robbing the Adélie penguins of their former land. It's pretty messed up, but they're penguins, so they don't know any better.

We, on the other hand, are human beings. We totally know better. But Brittany, I hear you plead, what can we do as individuals to reduce the effects of climate change? Spitballing a few quick ideas here:

• turn your faucet off when you brush your teeth or shave your... whatever

• recycle paper, beverage containers, and other applicable goods at your nearest recycling facility (for some, that could be as close as a little blue bucket that you put out on the sidewalk with your trash every week)

• use those squiggly lightbulbs, damnit

There you go, Mother Teresa! For the record, the penguin featured in this sketch is a Rockhopper, not an Adélie. Why not draw the relevant penguin, you ask? Because of those sweet, bushy Rockhopper eyebrows, that's why.

P.S. I colored this cute little guy in, so if you want any mugs, tank tops, etc. with that version OR the classic black and white, you can check either out on the Animals Are Mean merch site (powered by RedBubble).